#59: I'm here to be awesome

I have been very lucky to reconnect with a friend from elementary school who is now my friend + Herbalife coach.

I have always been curious about meal replacement shakes and whatnot but never felt prepared or motivated to pay the money and actually drink the shakes.

Then Jacki came along and I did a 3-day Herbalife trial. 

Then I decided this wasn't impossible.  The shakes actually taste good!  They fill me up and I can tell my moods have improved and my health is improving.

So I ordered a month's worth of shakes and managed to drink 2 shakes a day with 2 snacks and a colorful meal.

Then I ordered another month's worth of shakes.

Then I joined a 6 week weight loss challenge with Jacki and other Herbalifers.  I paid money in yet spent 4 weeks being lazy.  For week 5, I decided to follow the plan as best I could and stop drinking alcohol.  For two weeks I didn't drink alcohol and it was surprisingly GREAT.  Considering how I work at a liquor store and love craft beer, I figured this would be tricky but it was easy and so good for me.

In weeks 5 and 6, I lost 5.5 pounds.  It is pretty amazing what you can do when you set your mind to something and actually work at it!

Just think of what I could lose if I follow the plan correctly AND exercise?  Of course now that I'm motivated to exercise I have a knee injury that could be nothing or could require surgery.  Hopefully I find out soon.

For the past two weeks now that the weight loss challenge has ended, I've been all over the place drinking and eating not-so-colorful cheat meals.  I realized this morning how GROSS I feel.  Beer and the other alcoholic beverages I've consumed in the past 2 weeks simply don't taste as good as they used to.  I've had burgers and beers and fish and chips and gyros and gelato in the past 2 weeks.  I didn't weigh in on Sunday like normal so who knows what this has done to my weight loss plan.

Starting this weekend I'll be good again.  There is no weight loss challenge this time (though I could join one in July, I don't think I will).  I need to hold myself accountable.  I need to get my butt out of bed and to the gym on campus that I have FREE ACCESS TO.  The fact that this is a perk of my job that I'm not taking advantage of is just plain stupid.  I need to rid the house of cookies and cake leftover from Fonduemates.  I need to stock my fridge back up with vegetables and whatnot.  I need to get back on track and with the support of Jacki, I think I'm finally in a good place mentally to be able to do this.

I am determined to get back into shape so I can do Peak 10 this fall.  That means eating clean and exercising now.  That means fixing whatever my knee issue is.  That means staying motivated and doing the best I can.  It is frustrating because I know I can kick butt and take names since I did so well the first 2 times I did Peak 10.  I can get back to that point.  And I honestly have Jacki (and Ryan and little Ryan and Amelia) to thanks for my weekly check-ins (and walks if we're lucky), good baby time and being fantastic friends. 

My new mantra:

#58: Current thoughts

My apologies for how all over the place this post is but I needed a venue to talk about things.  I'll make headers so you don't have to read everything or you can pick and choose the topics.  :)

Also I now realize this is very similar to my post in December about making a difference.  I just have too many ideas and want to do too much.

SCHOOL/SAVING THE WORLD
I am starting a Master of Public Health program in the fall here at St. Kate's.  It is the first semester of the new MPH with a global focus which means I'll get to study abroad eventually!  People keep asking me what I want to do with my MPH and I keep saying I have no idea. 

I'm interested in child birth education both in the US and globally- working with pregnant moms to let them know what their options are when it comes to giving birth. 

I'm interested in helping the elderly and others figure out what health insurance options are best for them. 

I'm interested in working with companies like Feed My Starving Children eradicate hunger around the world and No Kid Hungry helping children here in the states. 

I'm interested in community outreach and providing safe, supportive environments for older adults, single parents, and at-risk children and teens.

I WANT TO DO TOO MANY THINGS.

Then we started talking about the possibility of a healthcare informatics masters and doctorate degree sometime in the future.  After doing some research, I decided that when I finish my MPH I want to get my PhD in Informatics.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  I barely know if I'm going to make it through this summer let alone through 3 years of a master's program and beyond.

LIFE GOALS
I also wrote up a page of "life goals" over the next 10 years.  For each year, I have written down a goal to accomplish in said year including lose weight (2016), Harry Potter World, get out of debt and own a home.  I'm hoping the goals are simple enough (almost half are vacations, TBH) that I'll be able to accomplish them.  Then by the time I'm planning our 20-year high school reunion I'll have more to talk about/be proud of!

WORK
I'm back down to just working 2 jobs- St. Kate's and Richfield Liquor.  However, I am highly involved in projects at church (including a monthly drop-in day for seniors in our community) and I just started writing articles for The Odyssey Online as part of a group of St. Kate's students.  It is like writing blogs but less about me and more about my interests and what I think might help the world (plus, eventually, a post about cats and pizza AKA my two favorite things). 

DATING
I am actively on 3 dating websites right now.  Here's a run down of my experiences over the past several years of online dating:

• Christian Mingle is full of sketchy weirdos.  
• eHarmony isn't much better.  
• Match allows you to browse through every single person on the site so it is just overwhelming.  
• Tinder gets old after a while and is having a hard time transitioning from being a "hookup" site.
• Clover isn't that popular in the Twin Cities so the options were few and far between.  
• Coffee Meets Bagel is okay but seems kind of blah (hard to explain).  
• Bumble so far is the best I've experienced- it is similar to Tinder but apparently Bumble is where all the cute guys in the Cities are hiding plus I have to make the first move in the conversation within 24 hours of matching.  It is a little bit of pressure but it is nice to know you won't get stupid unwanted messages from bros (unless you initiate a conversation and the guy turns out to be a bro).  

I'm just sick of putting out the effort to talk to a guy then lose interest quickly.  I need to get better about meeting up in person sooner rather than later so not to lose momentum but I'm too busy with activities, work and trying to have "me" time.  I just want to be in the relationship part of a relationship- I don't like this beginning crap of finding time to see someone and everything being awkward.

Can't I just hang out with my cats?

Ugh.

FITNESS
The good news is that I have realized recently how much working out has positively effected my life.  I had to take two weeks off of training with my student trainer due to my tattoo and in those two weeks, I was exhausted and couldn't drag my ass out of bed which is the problem I had before I started working with my trainer on a regular basis.  It was a struggle to get up and moving this morning (especially with the rain) but I'm so glad I did.  Of course, I only have 1 more session with her because the semester is over.  :(  But we are doing my fit test tomorrow to see what improvements I've made.  I know my body fat percentage is down a bit and my muscle mass is up based on weighing-in with Jacki (my Herbalife coach, spirit animal and friend).  I don't know that I've lost too much weight but I know I'm stronger.  My big goal now (in addition to losing weight which is what Herbalife is helping me do) is to get fit enough to do Peak 10 again this fall.  I miss those people and that gym and that workout, surprisingly.  I just need to be able to do it without dying...

#57: I did it!

Finally after 6 years of me thinking about getting a tattoo, I did it.  Seriously- it has been 6 years of putting "get a tattoo" on my list of things to do before my next birthday.  I compiled the proof here:

The reason I finally went for it?  Well I think there are two triggers.

First of all, Liz started talking about getting a tattoo.  She got her ears pierced before me and I didn't want her to get a tattoo before me, given the fact that I've been thinking about it for so long.  So she (unknowingly) lit the fire. 

Secondly, and I came up with this yesterday as I was thinking of hashtags for my Instagram post of my tattoo, I've decided 2016 is going to be "My year of me".  That sounds so corny (and I didn't use it as a hasthag) but it is the truth.  In January, I ended up at the hospital ED thinking I had an appendicitis (I didn't).  In February, a 16-year-old backed into my car and crushed my passenger side door.  In March, my dad passed out at work and also ended up at the ED (he's fine, they think it was an allergic reaction).  I've had 3 instances in the past 3 months that made me think about life and what I'm doing with it.  So in April, I've let loose a bit and had a little unexpected fun and finally got the tattoo I've been thinking about for ages.

This is the design I brought to my tattoo artist (whom I picked from a shop that I found from reviews on Yelp).

The meaning?  You should know about my love for birds of prey.  Bald eagles fascinate me and whenever I see a hawk, I think about my Poppa (grandpa on my mom's side).  I don't know how that started but I really feel like whenever a hawk is around, I feel his presence.  The cloud reminds me of the time I went skydiving (again, after years of thinking about it) and fell through a cloud.  So the meaning of the tattoo is to remind me to take chances and risks and be adventurous and strong.  It is how I intend to continue living my life.

This picture was taken right after Jacoba finished tattooing my leg yesterday.  It is on the back of my left calf. 

She told me 3 months ago at my consultation to make sure and moisturize leading up to the big day, to hydrate and eat protein before coming.  Luckily, I recently started Herbalife where all I do is drink water and eat protein!  Jacoba (and another artist at the shop) were really impressed by my awesome skin (perfect for tattoos, they said) so that was pleasing to hear.  At my consultation when I showed her the inspiration for my tattoo she was really excited about it and asked if she could make it more abstract or add color.  I told her to go for it as that's what I liked about her portfolio. 

Tattoos hurt.  Not necessarily as much as I once thought.  I read online this weekend that it would feel like an electric cat scratch and that was such a good baseline for what I was going to feel considering how my cats scratch me all the time.  It was like an electric cat scratch but worse in parts.  Also getting the color added at the end hurt the most but I'm not sure if it was because of a different needle or if it was just because my leg was tired.   But I managed to sit still, didn't cry once and didn't throw up.  Yay for mindful breathing.

I could not be happier with how this turned out.  It is my first tattoo and not my last after the wonderful experience I had yesterday.  The shop is clean and fun (it is called Jackalope Tattoo so there are jackalopes in the waiting area and paintings of unicorns and dinosaurs).  They were playing the latest Cake album (who I saw in concert almost exactly 9 years ago which just added to my knowing I was at exactly the right place) and other awesome music that put me at ease.  The shop is also run and staffed by only female tattoo artists which is why I was originally interested in it (girl power and all).  Seriously, it could not have been a better experience. 

So now I have ink on my leg.  It is swollen today and hurts a little only because I've been sitting all day and need to get up and move more.  I got it yesterday evening and it was wrapped until this morning- Jacoba told me it would be gross this morning when I unwrapped it to take a shower but it wasn't (Liz was disappointed in the lack of grossness- she told me to send her a picture).  All in all, I'm happy and amazed that I finally did it and know what I'm doing next (much smaller but potentially in a place that hurts more).  Of course I can't work out for 2 weeks now (right when I'm starting a weight loss challenge and I'm in the middle of a training program with a student at St. Kate's- my bad) but I'd rather not workout for 2 weeks than contract some horrible disease from all the gross crap that lives at the gym.  I'll try and do arms for the next 2 weeks...

Seriously though, how badass is this?  I was on such a high yesterday after leaving.  I told Liz I was invincible and I honestly felt like it.  Now I understand how people end up with more than 1 tattoo.  I'm feeling very accomplished like I can take on the world and that's exactly what I needed after the past few months of weirdness. 

#56: Making a difference

I have the hardest time trying to decide what I want to do with my life.  Things keep popping up that intrigue me.  There are so many people I want to help, so many causes I want to put my energy behind. 

For example, every time I sit through a Master of Social Work information session I decide I want my MSW.  We have a special track for those interested in working with immigrants and refugees which I really am right now.  I also want to get a dual degree with a Master in Theology and focus on a recent study that came out stating children who grew up in religious households are less altruistic than those who did not.  Personally I think the study was shit and needs to be redone. 

Then there is Humans of New York on Instagram and Facebook- one guy who started taking pictures of people on the streets of NY and writing a bit about their lives is now traveling the world, shedding light onto people in other countries who have stories to tell but no one to talk to who will listen. 

Black Lives Matter is a huge movement in Minneapolis and I feel the need to do what I can to support them.  I just don't know what I can do.

I just read a headline to an article about the only grocery store in the Iron Range closing soon.  That will turn the already struggling range into a food desert. 

I work at an all female undergraduate school.  I can only imagine the kind of angst and anxiety that must be felt by these girls on campus from social media to bullying to trying to be perfect.  I want to help them.  I want to make sure every girl on this campus knows they're special and wonderful in their own way and they don't need to conform to society's idea of the perfect woman.  

And the best candidate for president, Bernie Sanders.  He is everything.  And I'm nervous for what the next year will bring.  #feelthebern

Right now I'm just too busy.  I'm working 3 jobs (which will hopefully be knocked down to two after January).  I make time to volunteer with the Adapted Recreation and Learning Exchange group (adults with special needs) but I wish I could do more.  I haven't been to Feed My Starving Children in who knows how long.  

I want to make a difference in this world, I just don't know how or where to start.  I know I have the power to do something great!  

I guess I should start small and work my way up and out.  My friend Jackie from elementary school has become a recent highlight of my life with her motivational quotes and all around awesome ideas for how to live your life- healthy, happy and with no negativity.  She recently suggested that if you have 365 friends on Facebook to spend every day telling one person why you're thankful for them.  I don't have 365 FB friends but my goal is to get through the 322 that I do have over the next year.  Thanks, Jackie.  I'll probably start with you.  :)

What is one thing you want to do to make the world a better place?  I'm curious what other people's passions are.

Pizza Diet: Week 4

Feelings after week 3: I think I may be done with this crazy idea... not only is it very difficult to eat pizza for every meal (I still haven't had time to make breakfast pizza), I am sad to say that I am getting a little sick of it.  So it is probably better to stop eating it now before I make myself sick so I can continue to enjoy it in the future.  My last post from Wednesday was about working out to burn off the pizza calories but I honestly think I just need to change my diet back to something normal.  I'll finish off this final week as I have some good recipes planned but this may be the end of my pizza diet...

10/29/15: I had the last leftovers of mac & cheese pizza for lunch and splurged on My Burger's BOM (Burger of the Month) for dinner because I hadn't tried it yet and October is almost over!

10/30/15: Red Baron pepperoni & sausage leftovers for lunch!  We'll see what happens for dinner as we're trying to revive Friday Night Dinner with the fam-neighbors and we rarely ever go someplace that has pizza. Update- I had steak and ribs for dinner at TGI Friday's.  They were delicious.

10/31/15: For lunch I had pizza pinwheels (puff pastry dough, pizza sauce, cheese and pepperonis!).  This afternoon, my mom and I went to see Koo Koo Kangaroo today- she plays their songs in her classroom and she knows all the words and dance moves.  They're an awesome duo who sing songs mostly for kids about cool things like pooping, unicorns and, as it turns out- pizza!  Check out this song (there's also a book) called "All I Eat is Pizza!"  It is like they were speaking directly to me.



11/1/15: I had my leftover pizza pinwheels for lunch today.  When I got home from working at Southdale, I had leftover steak and mashed potatoes and cooked up some brussels sprouts that I got from church!  Yum!

11/2/15: Tonight I made a chicken alfredo pizza with a homemade alfredo sauce, chopped up grilled chicken breast from last week and a sprinkling of Tastefully Simple's Bacon Bacon because I ate all of my leftover bacon from last week.

11/3/15: I enjoyed the last leftovers of baked potato and cheese curd pizza for lunch today.  When I got home after working at 2 jobs, I threw a Red Baron Mexican pizza in the oven.  I seriously love these Red Baron pizzas- not one that I've tried has been bad!  This pizza has spicy sauce (which I don't normally like), veggies (like green peppers and onions) and tortilla chips on it.  It was surprisingly good, especially with my favorite condiment of sour cream. 

11/4/15: Leftover Mexcian pizza for lunch and chicken alfredo pizza for dinner!  I'm even thinking about having a salad with my dinner pizza- GASP.

Conclusion: This is it, y'all.  I will eat some more leftovers and probably cook one last Red Baron frozen pizza at some point in the near future but I don't have any more pizza plans.  I was thinking about starting a mac & cheese-only diet as I'm broke and mac & cheese is cheap (also I don't like ramen) but that doesn't seem to be too good for me either.  I haven't lost any weight eating pizza (I didn't think I would) but I also haven't GAINED any weight so that's a plus.  So here's to a healthy diet of clean foods, lots of water and routinely exercising because eating pizza every day is exhausting, if not pretty tasty.

Pizza Diet: Week 3

Feelings after 2 weeks: I knew that my traveling this week would prevent me from eating pizza for lunch and dinner (as lunch has been included in most of my graduate fairs and has mostly consisted of salad or sandwiches).  I also have my monthly friend with me this week which makes me nauseated at even my favorite foods sometimes so it has been a little tricking finding things to eat that won't make me feel sick.  I still love pizza though.


10/22/15: Tonight I was in the Peoria area.  I was actually staying in Pekin and after a 25 minute drive from Peoria to my hotel, I wasn't feeling in the mood to drive back to "town".  After browsing Yelp for like half an hour at all of my restaurant options, I finally placed a carryout order from a place called Monical's Pizza.  When I got to Monical's it reminded me of a smaller Davanni's.  Monical's is a chain around Illinois, it seems, as I passed many more on my way out of the state.  I read a review that the breadsticks were like giant pretzel sticks and tasted great with nacho cheese sauce so I got those and a thin crust sausage pizza.  The pizza was nothing to be marveled at.  The breadsticks, while they did have a pretzel-like quality to them, weren't that great.  I was pretty underwhelmed.

10/23/15: I ate in the cafeteria at Millikin University today in Decatur, IL where I enjoyed one piece of cheese pizza along with mashed potatoes and a milkshake.  It made me miss caf food and at the same time, made me happy we don't have an all-you-can-eat caf at St. Kate's like we did at Winona.  I literally ate nothing but pizza for about a year's worth of lunches in Winona because I didn't love my other options (although they were vast and there were many other things I should have eaten).  The milkshake was a nice touch.  On my way home I had McDonald's breakfast (for lunch!) and Culver's cheese curds for dinner.

10/24/15: Home sweet home!  I threw a Red Baron sausage and pepperoni pizza in the oven for lunch.  I forgot to take a picture of it but it was pretty tasty.  I've actually been impressed by the Red Baron frozen pizzas.  I had LeeAnn Chin for dinner- I was really craving Chinese food.

10/25/15: I made PastaRoni shells & cheese for lunch today.  It was pretty gross.  My intent on making the mac & cheese was to use the leftovers for pizza for dinner sometime this week but since I didn't really like it all that much, I was worried about how it would taste on pizza.  The good news is that my motto remains true- if you put enough cheese on it, anything will taste good.  I used a pre-made thin pizza crust, brushed it with olive oil, put down a foundation of shredded mozzarella then topped it with the leftover mac & cheese.  I then chopped up a bunch of white cheddar Ellsworth cheese curds and sprinkled those on top with the remaining mozz.  When the pizza was done, I sprinkled my Tastefully Simple pizzeria seasoning on top and voila!  It was SO GOOD.  I impress myself sometimes.

10/26/15: Red Baron sausage & pepperoni leftovers for lunch.  For DINNER I made a delicious half & half pizza- half baked potato, half cheese curd.  I "baked" potatoes in the microwave then mashed them up with butter and a little cream.  I then dusted the pizza dough with mozzarella, smooshed the potatoes over half the crust, added bacon and cheddar cheese then topped it with Tastefully Simple Onion Onion seasoning as I had no onions.  For the other half, I tossed a bunch of cheese curds on the dough and dumped the rest of the mozzarella cheese on it.  I sprinkled Tastefully Simple Pizzeria seasoning on top of that for some extra flavor.  I enjoyed fresh baked potato pizza with a dollop of sour cream for dinner!

10/27/15: Leftover day! Mac & cheese pizza for lunch.  Cheese curd pizza for dinner.

10/28/15: Leftover day part 2!  Baked potato & cheese curd pizza for lunch.  Red Baron sausage & pepperoni pizza for dinner.   As I was falling asleep last night I realized that while I've been eating pizza as I planned, I definitely haven't been working out as planned.  I looked online to see how much I need to exercise to burn off the calories from one piece of pizza (~275 calories).  It looks like I have a lot of running (47 minutes/550 calories), biking (59 minutes/550 calories), walking (72 minutes/550 calories) to do in my near future.  One site suggested 60 minutes of fast-paced ballroom or swing dancing to burn off 290 calories (one slice).  I haven't weighed myself in a while- I'll check on that and incorporate some exercise into my daily routine ASAP.

Pizza Diet: Week 2

Feelings after a week: I'm not sick of pizza yet!  I am a little sick of making my own or eating frozen pizza though.  Making my own pizza has been surprisingly easy and usually pretty quick but I'm craving some restaurant-made pizza.  It doesn't fit into my budget this week but I'm traveling for work next week and have picked out some cool pizza places to try!  Also I weighed myself on Monday morning and again this morning (Thursday) and I've lost 2.5 pounds.  I'm guessing that is due to many factors and not just my pizza diet but I'm still kind of happy about it!

I am honestly not sure what happened on 10/14/15.  It is possible that 10/15/15 is supposed to be 10/14.  Somehow I lost a day here... oh well.

10/15/15: Last night when I got home from work I made chicken-bacon-garlic pizza.  I failed to season the sauce so it was a little bland (that is my weakness in cooking, it seems).  But the crust got nice and crispy so that was a plus.  I accidentally grabbed two containers of this pizza for lunch and dinner today (instead of mixing it up with different leftovers) but it was still good warmed up in the microwave!  I cut the pizza into fancy squares and forgot to take a picture of the whole thing so here's a picture of just a little slice.

10/16/15: On Friday I had some delicious brick oven leftovers for lunch. Then I got home and I was really hungry so I made chili pizza. Eileen (my roommate) made chili and it smelled DELICIOUS. My other roomie Amanda suggested I make a cornbread crust and top it with chili and cheese. My roommates are culinary geniuses and the pizza was delicious. I ate one piece before Liz came over and we ended up at Mesa (her first time!!). It was glorious. 

10/17/15: Chili pizza leftovers today. I think for lunch and dinner... I can't recall. Then Amanda and I went out and she ended up buying a pretzel the size of our heads. It wasn't pizza but it was SO good. 

10/18/15: Today I enjoyed my last chicken bacon garlic leftovers for lunch and chili pizza leftovers for dinner. Then I wanted more cheese (which is funny since Amanda is reading a story now about how cheese is basically as addictive as cocaine, according to science). So I used my new Tastefully Simple pizzeria seasoning on a flat bread topped with perfect Ellsworth cheese curds. Damn good cheesy cracker bread and the pizzeria seasoning is just the flavoring this needed! 

10/19/15: I had pizza leftovers for lunch (cleaned out my fridge!) then began my journey south to Illinois for graduate fairs.  I had Culver's for dinner.  Definitely not pizza but it was pretty delicious anyway...

10/20/15: In Galesburg, IL tonight I went to Baked Pizza and ordered their deep dish-style pizza.  I took it back to my hotel room and ate half of it.  There is something about all that melty, crusty, wonderful cheese that makes the Chicago-style deep dish something to be admired.  However I definitely ate too much and felt uncomfortably full afterwards.  I probably won't be eating deep dish again anytime soon.  Baked the restaurant was adorably cobbled together with vintage tables and chairs, a cool chalkboard wall and records everywhere (not sure if they were decoration or meant to be played).  They also had a cool gallery of art in the back "party" area.  I was the only one in there the entire time I waited for my pizza to be made (about 30 minutes) but then again, it was just barely 5:00 p.m.

10/21/15: In Galesburg, IL for night two, I asked some college reps where I should go for good pizza.  They suggested Baked, which I informed them I had been to the night before, so their second choice was Pizza House.  Pizza House was a cute little place with very friendly wait staff.  I wasn't feeling super great so instead of ordering a pizza, I got a "pizza burger" sub sandwich and mozzarella sticks.  The mozz sticks were clearly prepackaged but were still good.  The pizza burger was what I expected from this "mom & pop" shop- bread, lots of sauce, crumbled meat (I think it was just hamburger) and cheese.  Luckily, there was lots of cheese.  Unluckily, I really don't like pizza sauce all that much and the bread got soggy fast so I basically ate the cheese off the sandwich and finished my cheese sticks.  So healthy, I know.