My life pretty much consists of work. Now its work plus coming home to mom who just had knee surgery. I don't like to see her in pain so being home makes me really uncomfortable. Its not that I don't want to help her, its just that it scares me so I'm trying to make plans to get out of the house. Luckily, my friend Allison's wedding is in 40 days and I'm kind of helping plan and I haven't done much to help lately so that will hopefully keep me busy.
This past weekend I made the four-hour trek to the Wisconsin Dells to see my dear friend Tyler. Tyler lived across the hall from me my last year in Lourdes/at WSU and he is my favorite. We said good night to each other every night before retreating to our own rooms to sleep so I was happy to sleep over at his house and say good night in person (its just not the same in text message form). He showed me the town (I can't recall ever visiting the Dells before) and now I never really need to go back, except to see Tyler. I was happy to see him though it made me really homesick for Winona.
Everyone is going back for RA training in about a week and a half. I'm happy not to be going back from training but it does feel abnormal that I won't be there with them. I knew this would be the time that it hits me that I'm done and staying here and not going back so maybe that's adding to my not wanting to be at home and my getting in fights with my sister. I just posted on my Facebook that summer break is just the right amount of time before Liz and I typically started really fighting and we've hit that time but I have no refuge to seek. Instead, I'm stuck here and have to watch what I say. It's adding to my frustration.
I need to remember how lucky I am to have parents that let me come home after graduation and a full time job to help me start paying off loans in a couple months. I am truly blessed. But that doesn't make me any less stressed, especially with our super cute puppy who STILL barks at my dad and is beginning to drive me up the wall. On the upside, his hyperactivity (he's a border collie puppy, I should expect no less) has gotten me up every morning to take him for a walk before work. On the downside, it doesn't seem to effect his energy level come 10 p.m. when I want to sleep and he wants to play.
Anyway, I suppose I'm happy but for the most part, I just feel like I'm in limbo. School seems more and more like what I should be doing with my life and not being at school just feels wrong. So right now I'm waiting for the next big thing. While I wait, I'm trying to fill my life with activities. On the weekend dates that aren't full of wedding business during the last weeks in August, I'm hoping to be working at the WCCO booth at the State Fair (two of my favorite things = WCCO news and the State Fair). After that and the wedding is over, I need to either find another job (I keep applying at Archiver's and failing- I'M PERFECT FOR A JOB THERE) or start volunteering. I suppose volunteering would be the right thing to do. We'll see what happens there.
I hope everyone is enjoying their July. I'm off to bed before another early morning of walking the dog (and by early, I mean 7:30) and a long day at work (that I enjoy, for the most part).
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I'm reading: I have two books sitting in my room but they're both autobiographical short story compilations that I have to really be in the right mood to read. Lately has not been the right mood so those may be going back to the library sometime soon...
Picture of the week: Here's a picture of Nina, Liz and me at Nina's fancy 19th birthday dinner. Peter left that morning to head back to the Air Force while their parents went to a wedding so I felt the need to fill in as family and celebrate her birthday in a big time way. We went to Salut on Grand where we tried escargot in addition to 2 other appetizers, dinner and 2 desserts (creme brulee at Salut then ice cream at Izzy's). Even though we were under a tornado warning pretty much the whole time, it was worth it and a night to remember.
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