#59: I'm here to be awesome

I have been very lucky to reconnect with a friend from elementary school who is now my friend + Herbalife coach.

I have always been curious about meal replacement shakes and whatnot but never felt prepared or motivated to pay the money and actually drink the shakes.

Then Jacki came along and I did a 3-day Herbalife trial. 

Then I decided this wasn't impossible.  The shakes actually taste good!  They fill me up and I can tell my moods have improved and my health is improving.

So I ordered a month's worth of shakes and managed to drink 2 shakes a day with 2 snacks and a colorful meal.

Then I ordered another month's worth of shakes.

Then I joined a 6 week weight loss challenge with Jacki and other Herbalifers.  I paid money in yet spent 4 weeks being lazy.  For week 5, I decided to follow the plan as best I could and stop drinking alcohol.  For two weeks I didn't drink alcohol and it was surprisingly GREAT.  Considering how I work at a liquor store and love craft beer, I figured this would be tricky but it was easy and so good for me.

In weeks 5 and 6, I lost 5.5 pounds.  It is pretty amazing what you can do when you set your mind to something and actually work at it!

Just think of what I could lose if I follow the plan correctly AND exercise?  Of course now that I'm motivated to exercise I have a knee injury that could be nothing or could require surgery.  Hopefully I find out soon.

For the past two weeks now that the weight loss challenge has ended, I've been all over the place drinking and eating not-so-colorful cheat meals.  I realized this morning how GROSS I feel.  Beer and the other alcoholic beverages I've consumed in the past 2 weeks simply don't taste as good as they used to.  I've had burgers and beers and fish and chips and gyros and gelato in the past 2 weeks.  I didn't weigh in on Sunday like normal so who knows what this has done to my weight loss plan.

Starting this weekend I'll be good again.  There is no weight loss challenge this time (though I could join one in July, I don't think I will).  I need to hold myself accountable.  I need to get my butt out of bed and to the gym on campus that I have FREE ACCESS TO.  The fact that this is a perk of my job that I'm not taking advantage of is just plain stupid.  I need to rid the house of cookies and cake leftover from Fonduemates.  I need to stock my fridge back up with vegetables and whatnot.  I need to get back on track and with the support of Jacki, I think I'm finally in a good place mentally to be able to do this.

I am determined to get back into shape so I can do Peak 10 this fall.  That means eating clean and exercising now.  That means fixing whatever my knee issue is.  That means staying motivated and doing the best I can.  It is frustrating because I know I can kick butt and take names since I did so well the first 2 times I did Peak 10.  I can get back to that point.  And I honestly have Jacki (and Ryan and little Ryan and Amelia) to thanks for my weekly check-ins (and walks if we're lucky), good baby time and being fantastic friends. 

My new mantra:

#58: Current thoughts

My apologies for how all over the place this post is but I needed a venue to talk about things.  I'll make headers so you don't have to read everything or you can pick and choose the topics.  :)

Also I now realize this is very similar to my post in December about making a difference.  I just have too many ideas and want to do too much.

SCHOOL/SAVING THE WORLD
I am starting a Master of Public Health program in the fall here at St. Kate's.  It is the first semester of the new MPH with a global focus which means I'll get to study abroad eventually!  People keep asking me what I want to do with my MPH and I keep saying I have no idea. 

I'm interested in child birth education both in the US and globally- working with pregnant moms to let them know what their options are when it comes to giving birth. 

I'm interested in helping the elderly and others figure out what health insurance options are best for them. 

I'm interested in working with companies like Feed My Starving Children eradicate hunger around the world and No Kid Hungry helping children here in the states. 

I'm interested in community outreach and providing safe, supportive environments for older adults, single parents, and at-risk children and teens.

I WANT TO DO TOO MANY THINGS.

Then we started talking about the possibility of a healthcare informatics masters and doctorate degree sometime in the future.  After doing some research, I decided that when I finish my MPH I want to get my PhD in Informatics.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  I barely know if I'm going to make it through this summer let alone through 3 years of a master's program and beyond.

LIFE GOALS
I also wrote up a page of "life goals" over the next 10 years.  For each year, I have written down a goal to accomplish in said year including lose weight (2016), Harry Potter World, get out of debt and own a home.  I'm hoping the goals are simple enough (almost half are vacations, TBH) that I'll be able to accomplish them.  Then by the time I'm planning our 20-year high school reunion I'll have more to talk about/be proud of!

WORK
I'm back down to just working 2 jobs- St. Kate's and Richfield Liquor.  However, I am highly involved in projects at church (including a monthly drop-in day for seniors in our community) and I just started writing articles for The Odyssey Online as part of a group of St. Kate's students.  It is like writing blogs but less about me and more about my interests and what I think might help the world (plus, eventually, a post about cats and pizza AKA my two favorite things). 

DATING
I am actively on 3 dating websites right now.  Here's a run down of my experiences over the past several years of online dating:

• Christian Mingle is full of sketchy weirdos.  
• eHarmony isn't much better.  
• Match allows you to browse through every single person on the site so it is just overwhelming.  
• Tinder gets old after a while and is having a hard time transitioning from being a "hookup" site.
• Clover isn't that popular in the Twin Cities so the options were few and far between.  
• Coffee Meets Bagel is okay but seems kind of blah (hard to explain).  
• Bumble so far is the best I've experienced- it is similar to Tinder but apparently Bumble is where all the cute guys in the Cities are hiding plus I have to make the first move in the conversation within 24 hours of matching.  It is a little bit of pressure but it is nice to know you won't get stupid unwanted messages from bros (unless you initiate a conversation and the guy turns out to be a bro).  

I'm just sick of putting out the effort to talk to a guy then lose interest quickly.  I need to get better about meeting up in person sooner rather than later so not to lose momentum but I'm too busy with activities, work and trying to have "me" time.  I just want to be in the relationship part of a relationship- I don't like this beginning crap of finding time to see someone and everything being awkward.

Can't I just hang out with my cats?

Ugh.

FITNESS
The good news is that I have realized recently how much working out has positively effected my life.  I had to take two weeks off of training with my student trainer due to my tattoo and in those two weeks, I was exhausted and couldn't drag my ass out of bed which is the problem I had before I started working with my trainer on a regular basis.  It was a struggle to get up and moving this morning (especially with the rain) but I'm so glad I did.  Of course, I only have 1 more session with her because the semester is over.  :(  But we are doing my fit test tomorrow to see what improvements I've made.  I know my body fat percentage is down a bit and my muscle mass is up based on weighing-in with Jacki (my Herbalife coach, spirit animal and friend).  I don't know that I've lost too much weight but I know I'm stronger.  My big goal now (in addition to losing weight which is what Herbalife is helping me do) is to get fit enough to do Peak 10 again this fall.  I miss those people and that gym and that workout, surprisingly.  I just need to be able to do it without dying...

#57: I did it!

Finally after 6 years of me thinking about getting a tattoo, I did it.  Seriously- it has been 6 years of putting "get a tattoo" on my list of things to do before my next birthday.  I compiled the proof here:

The reason I finally went for it?  Well I think there are two triggers.

First of all, Liz started talking about getting a tattoo.  She got her ears pierced before me and I didn't want her to get a tattoo before me, given the fact that I've been thinking about it for so long.  So she (unknowingly) lit the fire. 

Secondly, and I came up with this yesterday as I was thinking of hashtags for my Instagram post of my tattoo, I've decided 2016 is going to be "My year of me".  That sounds so corny (and I didn't use it as a hasthag) but it is the truth.  In January, I ended up at the hospital ED thinking I had an appendicitis (I didn't).  In February, a 16-year-old backed into my car and crushed my passenger side door.  In March, my dad passed out at work and also ended up at the ED (he's fine, they think it was an allergic reaction).  I've had 3 instances in the past 3 months that made me think about life and what I'm doing with it.  So in April, I've let loose a bit and had a little unexpected fun and finally got the tattoo I've been thinking about for ages.

This is the design I brought to my tattoo artist (whom I picked from a shop that I found from reviews on Yelp).

The meaning?  You should know about my love for birds of prey.  Bald eagles fascinate me and whenever I see a hawk, I think about my Poppa (grandpa on my mom's side).  I don't know how that started but I really feel like whenever a hawk is around, I feel his presence.  The cloud reminds me of the time I went skydiving (again, after years of thinking about it) and fell through a cloud.  So the meaning of the tattoo is to remind me to take chances and risks and be adventurous and strong.  It is how I intend to continue living my life.

This picture was taken right after Jacoba finished tattooing my leg yesterday.  It is on the back of my left calf. 

She told me 3 months ago at my consultation to make sure and moisturize leading up to the big day, to hydrate and eat protein before coming.  Luckily, I recently started Herbalife where all I do is drink water and eat protein!  Jacoba (and another artist at the shop) were really impressed by my awesome skin (perfect for tattoos, they said) so that was pleasing to hear.  At my consultation when I showed her the inspiration for my tattoo she was really excited about it and asked if she could make it more abstract or add color.  I told her to go for it as that's what I liked about her portfolio. 

Tattoos hurt.  Not necessarily as much as I once thought.  I read online this weekend that it would feel like an electric cat scratch and that was such a good baseline for what I was going to feel considering how my cats scratch me all the time.  It was like an electric cat scratch but worse in parts.  Also getting the color added at the end hurt the most but I'm not sure if it was because of a different needle or if it was just because my leg was tired.   But I managed to sit still, didn't cry once and didn't throw up.  Yay for mindful breathing.

I could not be happier with how this turned out.  It is my first tattoo and not my last after the wonderful experience I had yesterday.  The shop is clean and fun (it is called Jackalope Tattoo so there are jackalopes in the waiting area and paintings of unicorns and dinosaurs).  They were playing the latest Cake album (who I saw in concert almost exactly 9 years ago which just added to my knowing I was at exactly the right place) and other awesome music that put me at ease.  The shop is also run and staffed by only female tattoo artists which is why I was originally interested in it (girl power and all).  Seriously, it could not have been a better experience. 

So now I have ink on my leg.  It is swollen today and hurts a little only because I've been sitting all day and need to get up and move more.  I got it yesterday evening and it was wrapped until this morning- Jacoba told me it would be gross this morning when I unwrapped it to take a shower but it wasn't (Liz was disappointed in the lack of grossness- she told me to send her a picture).  All in all, I'm happy and amazed that I finally did it and know what I'm doing next (much smaller but potentially in a place that hurts more).  Of course I can't work out for 2 weeks now (right when I'm starting a weight loss challenge and I'm in the middle of a training program with a student at St. Kate's- my bad) but I'd rather not workout for 2 weeks than contract some horrible disease from all the gross crap that lives at the gym.  I'll try and do arms for the next 2 weeks...

Seriously though, how badass is this?  I was on such a high yesterday after leaving.  I told Liz I was invincible and I honestly felt like it.  Now I understand how people end up with more than 1 tattoo.  I'm feeling very accomplished like I can take on the world and that's exactly what I needed after the past few months of weirdness.