#30: Lost

I've hit a depression this week. I drove home yesterday and honestly thought to myself, what happened to my happy self? I'm exhausted. I'm upset. And due to recent events, I feel like nothing is making me want to stay here right now.

Sure, I love my family but I can be anywhere and still have them.

For the past month, I've been going to the chiropractor like normal but hadn't been seeing the sexy chiropractor, James, whom I have developed a severe crush on. I thought nothing of it until literally a month passed and I finally asked the girls at the front desk what happened to him. Turns out he finished his internship and took an opportunity in California that he couldn't pass up. They say the doctor may hire him full time when he returns in four months but they're not sure and my treatment will be done by then. The only reason its good that he's gone is the fact that every time I went to the chiropractor for the past 3 months, I got super anxious because I was so in love with him and then I just got all tense and I'm sure it wasn't helping my treatment. So that was Monday when I got the first blow.

On Tuesday, I went to the gym for my personal training appointment with my trainer Eric. I love him too but in a platonic, just friends way because he's such an amazing trainer. I love the way I feel after working out and love the fact that he understands what my limits are and how to make me do stuff that I don't want to when I work out. Halfway through our session he asked if he'd told me about his new schedule yet. He's changing his training hours to mornings from 8-12:30. I've been working out at 5:30 on my way home at work. Because he's going back to school and wants to work in the morning and focus on school in the afternoon, I no longer get to see him either. I respect his decision but I'm still upset. Now I have to find a new trainer and move on with my life.

I don't want to.

Without the sexy chiropractor and my amazing trainer and the fact that I don't love work as much as I used to, what is keeping me here? I know this might offend some people but really, what do I do anymore? I volunteer which I enjoy but isn't giving me the joy and satisfaction it had been. I work, I work out, I go to the chiropractor and I go home. I think about going back to school all the time and I'm just kicking myself for not applying to more schools, for not fighting harder to do what I want. I'm so frustrated with having to wait another year. I do not regret anything in life but I do wonder what I was thinking when I decided to stay home an extra year. I copped out. I took the easy way out. I'm mad at myself for being so cocky about Colorado.

I'm just tired. I'm tired and lost and sad.

Food Challenge: PEACHES/Grilled Pork Chops with Sweet Peach BBQ Sauce

Recipe #1 for my peaches challenge. Dad and I bought a crate of Colorado peaches at Cub yesterday so I decided to add it to my food challenge as we're going to have to eat all those peaches in a relatively short amount of time. We can do it and its going to be tasty.

I made these for dinner tonight- Dad was just going to have me marinade pork but then I looked in my handy "In the Kitchen" app by Food Network and found this recipe instead.

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Grilled Pork Chops with Sweet Peach Barbeque Sauce
Recipe from: Food Network

Ingredients

For spice rub:

• 3 tablespoons ground coriander
• 3 tablespoons ground paprika
• 2 tablespoons ground cumin
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• 3 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 4 rib or loin pork chops, about 1 1/2-inch thick (12 to 14 ounces each)

For the sauce:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 small red onion, peeled, sliced thin
• 3 peaches, pitted, cut into medium sized cubes
• 2 tablespoons peeled and minced fresh ginger
• 2 medium ripe tomatoes, cut into medium sized cubes
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 1/3 cup light or dark brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground allspice
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Build a multi-level fire in the grill: Leave 1/4 of the bottom free of coals, bank the coals in the remaining 3/4 of the grill so that they are 3 times as high on 1 side as on the other. When the coals are all ignited and the temperature has lowered to medium (hold hand about 5-inches above grill grid, over the area where coals are deepest, for 4 to 5 seconds), the grill is ready to cook.

Make spice rub: Combine the ingredients for the spice rub in a small bowl and mix well. Rub the pork chops generously on both sides with the mixture and set aside while making the sauce.

Make the sauce: In a large skillet over medium-high heat, heat the oil until hot, but not smoking. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, about 11 to 13 minutes. Add thepeaches, ginger, and tomatoes and cook, stirring frequently for 2 minutes. Stir in the vinegar, orange juice, sugar, allspice, and salt and pepper, to taste. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat andsimmer until the mixture is reduced by about 1/2 and thickened slightly, about 20 minutes. Taste and adjust for the seasoning, then transfer the sauce to a blender or food processor and puree until smooth (be careful with hot liquids). Reserve 1/4 cup sauce for basting the chops, then pour the remaining sauce into a small serving bowl.

Put the chops on the grill over the coals and cook, turning once, until desired doneness; 8 to 10 minutes per side for medium. During the last 30 seconds of cooking on each side, baste the chops generously with the sauce. Check for doneness.

Serve the chops hot with extra barbecue sauce on the side.

Cook's note: The spice rub and barbecue sauce contains sugar, which might burn while cooking on the grill. If the chops start to burn on the outside, move them to cooler part of the grill and cover with a metal pie pan or disposable foil to finish cooking.

This was how the BBQ sauce started - peaches, red onion, tomato and ginger.  The sauce is very ginger-y.  But its fresh and lovely and I'm glad I watch so much Food Network because I knew exactly how to handle the new ingredient!

232-238: Week Thirty Four/Picture a Day for a Year

232/365: While I was in Winona I searched high and low to find Mark. When I thought I'd never find him, I took this picture and texted it to Janelle because I thought it was sweet. Mark has 5 daughters, probably a 6th on the way.

233/365: I stopped at Garvin Heights in Winona this morning. It was there I found a path of wooden steps I'd never ventured down. It was a beautiful walk through flowers and forest until I realized I was going to have to go back up the million steps I'd just descended (and I was only halfway down). It was a nice workout today.

234/365: On the way home from work, I saw this cool guy on the motorcycle with a flag on the back. That seems dangerous but also badass.

235/365: I got pretty flowers at work today from my wonderful friend Tyler who wanted to cheer me up.

236/365: Dad got a 2012 Ford Focus from the motor pool at work. Tonight we set up the "old cars" (AKA my Camry and Liz's Focus) to test the auto-park feature on the 2012 model. IT WAS AMAZINGLY AWESOME.

225-231: Week Thirty Three/Picture a Day for a Year

225/365: I think its obvious I can never post enough pictures of Jazz doing this. It always amuses me.

226/365: I know its terrible bugs that do this to leaves but Mom and I still find them to be pretty and look like lace.

227/365: Pretty flowers growing in our bittersweet bush (another dog-walk discovery).

228/365: More zinnias. I love them.

229/365: Sometimes I wonder what we did before Jazz came into our lives. What did I take pictures of? What did we talk about?

230/365: What is this thing? Ha ha ha just kidding. But seriously, I should have checked to see if it still had a dial tone.

231/365: Banana cupcakes are the best smelling cupcakes to bake. Yum.

Post Grad Book #9

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Finished: August 8, 2011
Page Count: 464 but I read it on my iPhone so it was like 1635 tiny pages
Why I read it:
My mom liked the book and I wanted to read it before I saw the movie.


Publisher's Weekly review:
What perfect timing for this optimistic, uplifting debut novel (and maiden publication of Amy Einhorn's new imprint) set during the nascent civil rights movement in Jackson, Miss., where black women were trusted to raise white children but not to polish the household silver. Eugenia Skeeter Phelan is just home from college in 1962, and, anxious to become a writer, is advised to hone her chops by writing about what disturbs you. The budding social activist begins to collect the stories of the black women on whom the country club sets relies and mistrusts enlisting the help of Aibileen, a maid who's raised 17 children, and Aibileen's best friend Minny, who's found herself unemployed more than a few times after mouthing off to her white employers. The book Skeeter puts together based on their stories is scathing and shocking, bringing pride and hope to the black community, while giving Skeeter the courage to break down her personal boundaries and pursue her dreams. Assured and layered, full of heart and history, this one has bestseller written all over it.


What I thought (a review of the book, reading it on my iPhone, and the movie):
The book was fantastic.  It was well written and I liked how it went back and forth between the POV of Skeeter, Aibileen and Minny.  It was a great story of how their book was written.  It had just enough romance in it to satisfy me but was mostly about a very important time in this country when Jim Crow ruled and no one was talking about it.  
Reading a book on my iPhone was good and bad.  It was good because I had it with me at all times- I have a hard time carrying around big books and actually reading them when I'm places.  It was bad because the screen is tiny and it hurt my eyes sometimes.  
I saw the movie with my mom last night.  It was basically the book in movie form- its rare to see a movie that is 98% straight from the book.  Since I so recently finished reading the book, watching the movie was like reading the book again so I was a little bored.  My mother, however, seemed to really enjoy it and cried for half the movie (she hasn't read the book in a while).  I really liked it nonetheless- I love Emma Stone so I'll see just about anything with her in it.  It's worth seeing whether you've read the book or not.

218-224: Week Thirty Two/Picture a Day for a Year

218/365: Oh the antics of our puppy.

219/365: Mom & I went to the Uptown Artfair today and there was a food truck there with the most delicious Mexican corn ever in the world. I wish I could eat it every day.

220/365: A headline on Bring Me the News today. Everyone is calling it sexism. I'm just calling it funny. "America- I challenge you to a staring contest and it begins.... NOW."

221/365: Two of my favorite people were bored during training today so I got this picture around lunchtime. It made my life complete.

222/365: This upsets me and worries about the people in our world today. I also can't stand when people say "I seen that". Good grammar and spelling shouldn't be so hard.

223/365: I found this tiny bird's nest on my walk with Jazz this morning. What kind of bird lives in that?

224/365: Vodka soaked gummy bears. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Food Challenge: QUINOA/Sugar Snap Pea and Quinoa Salad

Recipe #4 of my quinoa challenge.  My mom actually made this for our block party on Tuesday night.  She has no idea where the recipe came from and when I Googled "summer salad" like she said she did, I didn't find it so this is the closest recipe to what she did.

I liked that she put it in this yellow bowl- it was perfect for picture taking!

Sugar Snap Pea and Quinoa Salad with Citrus Vinaigrette 

Recipe from: Quinoa Salads

Ingredients

• 1 cup cooked quinoa
• 3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
• 3 tablespoons organic or raw honey
• Juice from 1/2 medium-size lemon
• Juice from 1/2 medium-size orange
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 tbsp minced fresh basil
• Pinch of fresh ground pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon sesame seeds
• 8 ounces sugar snap peas, rinsed and de-stringed
• Segments from 1 medium-size orange, skin and pith removed

Directions Prepare quinoa according to package directions. Fluff with a fork and let cool completely.

While quinoa cooks, make citrus vinaigrette: Whisk together olive oil, vinegar, honey, lemon juice, orange juice, salt, pepper, basil, and sesame seeds in a small bowl; set aside.


Toss snap peas with quinoa and orange segments. Drizzle citrus vinaigrette over salad and serve.

It definitely had a lot of sugar snap peas- the ratio of peas to oranges to quinoa was a little off but it was still very tasty and summery!

#29: Babies

I've been thinking a lot about babies lately.  My best friends are trying to have a baby (so exciting!).  Babies are every where.  I keep thinking of reasons I want to have kids:
1. So I can buy the "Baby Bullet" and make fresh homemade baby food.
2. So I will stop speeding.  I saw a woman (maybe like an 18-year-old) with a kid in the back of her car today and she was speeding and swerving all over the place.  I will NEVER speed with a child in my car.
3. ARTS & CRAFTS & DECORATING

Dad said those weren't very good reasons to have a baby and I told him this was exactly true- I don't really want kids right now so those are good reasons in the future but they're reasons to keep me from having children as well.  Until my number one reason is I'm ready, I'll just keep thinking about the Baby Bullet.

Also, look at these cute babies!

Hello baby cocoon. 

TINY TOMS FOR BABIES.  Oh good heavens.