#15: Change of Plans

I hate that I have to write this but I found out today that I did not get accepted into Colorado State's higher education program.  At first when I applied, I thought there was no chance I would get rejected.  Last week when I found out that I was up against 275 applicants for what I believe to be about 10 openings, I knocked myself down a peg or two.  I wasn't sure what my chances were in this large of an applicant pool but I still thought I had a chance.  Today, all of my hopes and dreams came crashing down.

After spending a dreadful two hours at work (I checked my email on my phone around 3 p.m. then had to sit there for 2 1/2 more hours trying not to cry) I got in my car and cried, but not a lot.  I had some time to think about this whole thing while I was getting through the rest of my day.  This is really just another moment on a list of failures in my life.  Luckily, the failures always turn me in to better things.

The first would be my desire to go to St. Mary's, getting accepted, then changing my major so I couldn't go there any more.  I ended up at Winona State which turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me.

Second was when I applied to the education program the first time and did not get in.  Mostly, I failed due to a stupid writing exam that tested my ability to write at a fourth grade level (it was mentally exhausting for me to write like that the second time around).  I changed my major and ended up doing something fun that I wouldn't have even thought about at the beginning.

The third failure was when I applied for the assistant hall director position the first time and did not get the job.  I ended up as an RA for a second year, an experience I really needed and valued, and got the job the second time around.

So here I am with my rejection letter from Colorado State, upset and feeling unwanted and not quite sure what to do next.  Luckily for me, I was smart enough to have a back up plan and will be attending a residence life conference at the beginning of March to interview for graduate assistantships at schools around the country.  I've had emails of interest in my resume from a variety of schools including KU, Montana State, Eastern Illinois, Clemson University and St. Thomas (which I wasn't going to consider as its in Minnesota but the opportunity presented itself today and it sounds interesting).

I just wish this would stop happening.